Today I realised I'll never be the same.

Even though I don't mind being alone, I sometimes get engulfed with wonderful memories of the past.

I realize what I must do, I understand what will get me out of this, yet there is something within myself that stops me. I know my potentials, I know what I can do, yet I just let myself slowly slip down the hole. I hope that there is something within myself that'll help me out of it.

As one realizes that one is a dream figure in another person's dream - that, you see, is self awareness.

She and I first met at a party at her apartment. We hit it off, opened up, shared secrets, and talked about everything. For hours we linked our stories, finding similarities in each other's history, finding meaning. The party waned on around us, growing louder, so we hid away together in a distant room. The lights off, the room dark, we sat silhouetted by the beams cast by the moon, beneath a window. We talked through the deepest hours of the night. Dreams, goals, philosophies, plans, travels... our existence, our creation, our meaning, our joy, our love. The dawn found us curled up, laying hidden from the suns breach against the wall under the window, asleep - but still together.

That experience - connecting with a stranger on the deepest of emotional and social levels, seeking and creating bonds not found in your daily life, breaking barriers of shyness, nervousness, and fear - is one of life's rare and wonderful treasures.

When you're married, dear, you'll never experience it again - that bond that we shared, that magic we created that night. It's the price you pay for your everlasting love. It's a small one, but I hope it stings a little... if not today, then one day, in your future, I hope it sets in. You'll be lying in bed, distant in thought, next to your better half, and you'll recall that night and it'll dawn on you and you'll think, I lived but only once...

This is a world getting progressively worse, can we not agree on that?

Actually, the gap between, say, Plato and Nietzsche and the average human is greater than the gap between a chimpanzee and the average human. The realm of the real spirit - the true artist, the saint, the philosopher - is rarely achieved. Why so few? Why is world history and evolution not stories of progress, but rather, this endless and futile addition of zeros?

Ever have a job that you've hated, worked really hard at, long hard day at work, finally you get to go home, get in bed, close your eyes... and immediately you wake up and realize, the whole day at work... it had been a dream? It's bad enough that you sell your waking life for minimum wage, but now they get your dreams for free.

Dreams; what are they? An escape from reality or reality itself? A film on science, philosophy, and the life of dreaming and waking. The film's protagonist has an endless series of dreams after a bad accident. In them, he follows around people who discuss their ideas on life and what lies behind dreams. Soon, he becomes alarmed when he discovers he cannot awake from this confusing dream.

Trailer

Full film

Her words - they moved me. I took them to heart and will always keep them close; she was the first person to mean it.

there is a mountain of snow, up past the big glen
we have a castle enclosed, there is a fountain
out of the fountain flows gold, into a huge hand
that hand is held by a bear, who had a sick band

of ghosts and cats
and pigs and bats
with brooms and bats
and wigs and rats
and play big dogs like queens and kings
and everyone plays drums and sings

about big sharks
sharp swords
beast bees
bead lords
sweet cakes
mace lakes

o ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma

I hope in my heart that we on a whole
will die and the earth be left alone
just beast and bee and fish and tree
this hope I wish will someday be
that bacteria will have ate our remains
that all knowledge of us has decayed
our burden raised the world set free
the earth returns to land and sea
our buildings burned and highways gone
I love my friends and everyone
but we've had our chance let's move aside
let time wash us out with the tide