While struggling for meaning and purpose in progress, there are no answers, only choices.

Yesterday I finally told you what I have felt
for you
and that I feel it again and again
for you
and that I have been unable to stop
for you.

I thought crushes were
beyond me.
It seems that I was wrong
and I now wrestle with my feelings.
What would everyone say if they knew?

You were simply
in the
wrong place
at the
wrong time
and I was too close to you for too long.
And all I get from it is a
longing
I can’t satisfy
that you
won’t fulfill.

Maybe you’ll forgive me
somehow.

You turned your back to me.
Your back was
insightfully blank
yet clearly had thoughts and ideas on it
just now
in this abruption
it was unclear of its stance
its rights and wrongs
its standards
principles.
Like a chalk board
once covered with knowledge meant to inform
choices ahead
now blank
in this abruption.

You understand.
You said you were sorry for not noticing how I felt
despite me trying to tell you all the time.
Now you know.
It has taken a load off of my mind
and hope is not far away
visible from a telescope now.
From the heart
now.

But I’m so afraid of dying
again.
To feel cold and dead
again.
I can see death
so close
and yet
I steer into the storm onwards.

Please
don’t leave me alone.
Solitude kills me
and
unlike storms
yet
like death
I want you so much.

Why do all of my vices come to hunt me?

Unlike Storms by Calvin