Sunday, December 2, 2007

...but your hopelessness is beautiful

I grunt. Leaning down and over from the position I'm at doesn't agree with my back. I plug in the power adapter into the wall port next to the hotel bed as quickly as possible. Snapping back, I roll over to a new position to adjust for the new items in hand. I pull the covers tighter, closer to my body, and place the case of hardware on top of my legs. As the laptop begins powering on, I feel the components wizzeling in the fashion they were made to do. Reaching over to my right, I lift up my iPod. Stella was a diver, huh? My thumb pushes the black circle explaining to the nuts and bolts that I don't want to listen to that song. Brand New Colony. Above You. Why Does My Heart Feel So bad - yeah, that's the one. I place the iPod down to my right side, where it use to rest. About 20 minutes of battery. That's enough. It always is enough.

What do you do
when you are stuck?
You can't decide
what you really want?
All the choices that should matter
mean nothing to you anymore.
Do you stay behind
or do you go ahead?
Do you do what is right
or do you do what you want?
What happens when
what you wish for
doesn't come true?
What happens when
what you wish for
never comes true?
It comes true for others,
just not for you.
What do you do, then,
when all you want
and all you need,
never appears?
What do you do then?
What Do You Do? by Calvin

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