The stories behind what I write are experiences, but I almost feel as though they never happened; Dissociation... is this me or not?

I'm a lost little boy. Paranoid. I have no idea who I am or where I'm going.

I worry that the person I present to other people is not who I really am, because that would mean that nobody knows me. I have a small repertoire of small talk which gets me through day to day but wears thin around the people closest to me. Am I nothing? Are you?

My vision of the future is crashing down. I work hard while maintaining balance. I thought somehow that because of my genuine passion and some elbow grease that I was deserving something. I am wrong. We are deserving of nothing. Some will fall into luck. Others will have to work for everything and get no where. I'm not sure which one I am, or which one I will be.

Because of this, I am disgusted by humanity. It really makes me sick. I want it destroyed. Every single part of it - gone forever. I want to be alone... except for maybe this one girl I just met. She's pretty cool. I just wish she would save humanity and take care of me.

I know I'd be so much happier if everyone just left me alone. I worry too much about people when I have to be their friend. All I do is worry. Life is miserable and they aren't helping. Stop it with all the pressure and expectations...