I'm so lonely that it makes me sick. It's not like I don't try to socialize. I try - I really do - but somehow I just feel like I'm not good enough and it's not right. I know I'm not a bad person. I just want someone to tell me that I'm not. They don't even need to tell me that - I wish someone would just come out and tell me anything. Just talk to me. Someone who is motivated solely by themselves. Deep down inside want to talk to me, so they do, and not worry about what I may or may not think about them. I'm just so lonely. I hate this place that I'm at.
I'm not important to anybody or anything. I'm not happy. Beyond those two things, is there really any point to this life? I don't know if there will ever be change.
I just wish someone cared. That's all I want. Someone who sincerely, from the bottom of their heart and soul, cares.
Under my bed, I keep a box full of notes of great things people have ever told me. Things people have written to me or things people have said to me. Things that struck emotion into my life - things that made me feel good inside. Things that filled in the hollowness of this life.
When I'm lonely I look at them and dream of what could have been.
Pragmatic Magic by Tom Edison
we are not different
from the first
creators
the first
cave painters
who stood
enveloped in the dark
and the damp
making wishes
3 comments:
Calvin, you're someone who if it came down to it, I'd give my life for. Never stop writing.
shes a fool for giving you up, calvin. i know thats what you are talking about.
and calvin you know i care. i really do and i dont like to see you upset. ill talk to you about it tomorrow.
I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart and soul, care. You are not alone.
Post a Comment